Internal and external conflicts | Marysaba

Every criticism, judgment, diagnosis, and expression of anger is the tragic expression of an unmet need"

Marshall Rosenberg

If you struggle in a relationship:

The society we grew up in is built on winning or losing an argument, on what NVC calls the 4 D's:

Diagnosis (judging the other person)
Denial (ignoring our own emotions)
Demand (expecting someone to act for us)
Deserve (punishing the other person).

We were raised this way, but have you noticed that this doesn't actually help you solve conflict with others? Instead, it feeds the fighting on both sides. Every time you reach for one of these, the conflict feeds itself, the suffering grows, and you're left not knowing how to get out.

The method:

Here, through Nonviolent Communication, we work differently. We look at the emotions and needs underneath how you act in conflict. And, with empathy, when there's room for it and you feel ready, we look at the other person's perspective too, and the emotions and needs behind it.

Why emotions and needs? Because what we argue about is rarely the real reason we're arguing. Focusing on what's actually happening inside us gives you more freedom, and more clarity, in how you choose to respond.

How sessions work:

Sessions run for 90 minutes. You bring one specific conflict, and we explore it through your emotions and needs. I provide a structure to guide our work, but the process remains flexible and open, adapting to your needs and what emerges during the session.

Many people notice real shifts after just 3 sessions: more clarity, more ease expressing themselves, more awareness in the moment of conflict itself.

This isn't therapy. We work with the present moment and build strategies for what's ahead,.

Send me a message to book a free 30 minute call.

"Conflict isn’t something to get rid of. It’s something to learn from, something that reveals the places in us still longing for understanding, compassion, and healing"

John Kinyon

If you struggle with yourself:

The society we grew up in often teaches us to measure ourselves against expectations: what we should have achieved, who we should be, and where we should be by now.

So we learn to turn that same judgment inward:

Judging ourselves for the choices we made.
Rejecting our emotions when they don't fit what we think we should feel.
Demanding more from ourselves when we already feel exhausted.
Believing we don't deserve what we want, or that we're not enough to have it.

We were raised to think this way. But have you noticed how little it actually helps?

You can feel stuck, lost, or like you're constantly falling behind.

The method:

Here, we look at what is happening inside you: your emotions, your needs, the beliefs you're carrying, and the expectations you're placing on yourself.

If you struggle in a relationship:

The society we grew up in is built on winning or losing an argument, on what NVC calls the 4 D's:

Diagnosis (judging the other person)

Denial (ignoring our own emotions)

Demand (expecting someone to act for us)

Deserve (punishing the other person).

We were raised this way, but have you noticed that this doesn't actually help you solve conflict with others? Instead, it feeds the fighting on both sides. Every time you reach for one of these, the conflict feeds itself, the suffering grows, and you're left not knowing how to get out.

The method:

Here, through Nonviolent Communication, we work differently. We look at the emotions and needs underneath how you act in conflict. And, with empathy, when there's room for it and you feel ready, we look at the other person's perspective too, and the emotions and needs behind it.

Why emotions and needs? Because what we argue about is rarely the real reason we're arguing. Focusing on what's actually happening inside us gives you more freedom, and more clarity, in how you choose to respond.

How sessions work:

Sessions run for 90 minutes. You bring one specific conflict, and we explore it through your emotions and needs. I provide a structure to guide our work, but the process remains flexible and open, adapting to your needs and what emerges during the session.

Many people notice real shifts after just 3 sessions: more clarity, more ease expressing themselves, more awareness in the moment of conflict itself.

This isn't therapy. We work with the present moment and build strategies for what's ahead,.

Send me a message to book a free 30 minute call.

If you struggle with yourself:

The society we grew up in often teaches us to measure ourselves against expectations: what we should have achieved, who we should be, and where we should be by now.

So we learn to turn that same judgment inward:

Judging ourselves for the choices we made.

Rejecting our emotions when they don't fit what we think we should feel.

Demanding more from ourselves when we already feel exhausted.

Believing we don't deserve what we want, or that we're not enough to have it.

We were raised to think this way. But have you noticed how little it actually helps?

You can feel stuck, lost, or like you're constantly falling behind.

The method:

Here, we look at what is happening inside you: your emotions, your needs, the beliefs you're carrying, and the expectations you're placing on yourself.

Rather than trying to silence or “fix” the parts of you that don't fit, we create space to understand them.

Because what looks like a lack of motivation, indecision, frustration or self-doubt often has something underneath it.

When you understand what's actually happening inside you, you gain more clarity and more freedom to choose how you want to move forward.

How sessions work:

Sessions run for 90 minutes. You bring one specific situation and we explore it through your emotions, needs and the beliefs involved.

I provide a structure to guide our work, but the process remains flexible and open, adapting to your needs and to what emerges during the session.

This isn't therapy. We work with what is happening in your life now and build greater awareness and strategies for what's ahead.

Send me a message to book a free 30 minute call.

If you struggle in a relationship:

​

The society we grew up in is built on winning or losing an argument, on what NVC calls the 4 D's:

​

Diagnosis (judging the other person)

Denial (ignoring our own emotions)

Demand (expecting someone to act for us)

Deserve (punishing the other person).

We were raised this way, but have you noticed that this doesn't actually help you solve conflict with others? Instead, it feeds the fighting on both sides. Every time you reach for one of these, the conflict feeds itself, the suffering grows, and you're left not knowing how to get out.

​​

The method:

Here, through Nonviolent Communication, we work differently. We look at the emotions and needs underneath how you act in conflict. And, with empathy, when there's room for it and you feel ready, we look at the other person's perspective too, and the emotions and needs behind it.

Why emotions and needs? Because what we argue about is rarely the real reason we're arguing. Focusing on what's actually happening inside us gives you more freedom, and more clarity, in how you choose to respond.

​

How sessions work:

Sessions run for 90 minutes. You bring one specific conflict, and we explore it through your emotions and needs. I provide a structure to guide our work, but the process remains flexible and open, adapting to your needs and what emerges during the session.

Many people notice real shifts after just 3 sessions: more clarity, more ease expressing themselves, more awareness in the moment of conflict itself.

This isn't therapy. We work with the present moment and build strategies for what's ahead,.

​

Send me a message to book a free 30 minute call.

If you struggle with yourself:

​

The society we grew up in often teaches us to measure ourselves against expectations: what we should have achieved, who we should be, and where we should be by now.

​

So we learn to turn that same judgment inward:

Judging ourselves for the choices we made.

Rejecting our emotions when they don't fit what we think we should feel.

Demanding more from ourselves when we already feel exhausted.

Believing we don't deserve what we want, or that we're not enough to have it.

​

We were raised to think this way. But have you noticed how little it actually helps?

You can feel stuck, lost, or like you're constantly falling behind.

The method:

Here, we look at what is happening inside you: your emotions, your needs, the beliefs you're carrying, and the expectations you're placing on yourself.

Rather than trying to silence or “fix” the parts of you that don't fit, we create space to understand them.

Because what looks like a lack of motivation, indecision, frustration or self-doubt often has something underneath it.

When you understand what's actually happening inside you, you gain more clarity and more freedom to choose how you want to move forward.

​

How sessions work:

Sessions run for 90 minutes. You bring one specific situation and we explore it through your emotions, needs and the beliefs involved.

I provide a structure to guide our work, but the process remains flexible and open, adapting to your needs and to what emerges during the session.

​

This isn't therapy. We work with what is happening in your life now and build greater awareness and strategies for what's ahead.

​

Send me a message to book a free 30 minute call.